2.15.2012

About Special Days: my Valentine

My White Rose Pic by (c)IlariaPranzini
I don`t like ´special days`. You read me saying that often. Looking at it objectively, I have no special reasons to be so insecure but obviously there is a weakness inside me that ´cracks` when everybody are supposed to be happy. 
Many react aggresively to that supposition or world request: why should I be happy just because it is Chrsitmas, New Year Eve or my birthday? moreover: why should I feel excited or more incline to romanticism in ValentinesDay? My opinion is: ´special days` are a good excuse to have fun. That`s good and worth of an effort, especially when you feel a bit down: come on! it`s New Year Eve! go out, call your friends, enjoy! in general I must admit it works.
I gets nervous instead. Mostly because I am a little unsociable. Who met me could be surprised: I am friendly, talkactive, a good mate to share a trip. But I always used to be quite solitary: I spent half of my life studying hard, reading a lot, traveling alone, writing. I have few friends and they don`t live near to me. My best friend moved to UK many years ago, others are in Luxembourg, Holland, Malta or in distant Italian cities. That makes hard to say: come on! lets invite everybody for my birthday party!
ValentinesDay is the hardest of ´special days` because it isn`t a democratic holyday: you can celebrate it if you are engagged, if not you can go out with all female or male friends looking for adventure or even adsume a sceptical position like ´I don`t celebrate that stupid day`. Neverthless the world does all around you so... not easy!
I am engagged at the moment. As you can find on my facebook profile...it`s complicated! that poor man I love made a big effort to give me a decent ValentinesDay. A thing you must know about him and that I love is the wild, alternative, natural way to live he holds. He hates convenctions, you can imagine what he thinks about ´special days`, gifts, flowers, calendar.... His idea of a perfect day is: alone climbing a mountain, sun welcomed but not required. We had a nice dinner at home, I cooked something special but not so special to encounter his disapproval. I apreciated he was there with me and not where he for sure would have prefered. We had a beautiful white rose on our table, even if he dislikes cut flowers. I beloves them. A white rose you see isn`t a red one. Red ones are for passion and our love is more like a persistent low flame. We know each others since many many years and accepted finally to drink from that glass not completely full, not completely empty. We shared great moments and very bad days. You can`t keep a wild animal inside a city apartament. Face it :)

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