2.14.2013

Love


Today's a special day and you know I don't like them very much but this one, maybe the hardest when you are not living the best moment your life, puts the stress on something we all need. To be loved. To love too, yeah. But to be loved first: unloved children don't learn to talk, unloved people don't learn to live. We are all children when we feel alone and just in need of love. So... ok: I see the point in a special day about love. No matter the commercial side - that's capitalism, baby: there is a commercial site of everything - no matter the kitsch packed gifts, the compulsory cheerfulness. Go and tell him/her: I love you, you are the most important thing in my life, I'll do anything for you. Would you like to go to the cinema with me maybe? :) Nothing wrong with that.
Today I turned on my radio and the first new was that athlete Pistorius had killed his girlfriend. God. The last thing I had read last night was this article about Manzano in Fuente's trial: http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/manzano-delivers-shocking-evidence-at-puerto-trial  They are unrelated, aren't they? Why they got immediately linked in my mind? I was still in bed and my idea was to write an article about Valentine's day for cyclists's girlfriends and wives. Lonely day so often. Thank's Skype for a chat at some weird hour. But I couldn't get started. 
According with statistics 1 in 4 women will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime – many of these on a number of occasions. One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute. On average, 2 women a week are killed by a current or former male partner. In Italy 100 women have been killed by their partner in 2012, in 2013 they are already 71. Numbers aren't so different around theworlds. It is nothing cultural. It seems that for many men 'love' includes 'violence'. I told nothing about domestic violence and abuse. When you think about that... but you don't 'think' here, you 'feel' it on your skin... then you are anymore in the mood to celebrate.
Manzano's story made me feel something very similar: disregard of love. You see this girl: she's 23, she's pregnat and her ex-bf hit her with his car and then killed her by a knife. That woman here was 53, her husband set her alight, in their home, after a life together. Pistorius killed a beautiful girl who was a model. Those girls and women were daughters of some mothers and fathers. The 23 yo was with her dad when killed and he tried to defend her. But very often they are alone with a men they love and forgive in spite of all. They keep the silence and often die because of it. They keep their dream of a big love in spite of a poor, desperate reality.
Reading Manzano's story -but also the USADA's document about US Postal - I got the same feeling: dreams, keeping silence, violence, disregard of love. It isn't the doping, it's that. So often I see dopers were (are?) poor desperate guys in a no-way-out situation. So... Marco Pantani, found dead on Valentine's day. So Frank Vandenbroucke... he almost killed his wife... found dead as well at end of a sad obscure story. Everybody love you so much when things go well, when you do the job. They kill you by disregard when things go wrong. And the more they love you the more they kill you it seems. Not a person who feels and deserves to be loved but just a thing you buy, use and throw away.
I was right telling myself DON'T WRITE TODAY. I'm sorry. But I still think it's good to pick a day to tell how much we are in love each other and I'll try to make the best of it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing today.

What you've written is very wise and very true.

B

Ilaria said...

Thank you. I was worried to be too 'heavy' but that is the feeling